Thinking of Jolene

While we were in Maui, Tony's sister, Jolene, died. She died on June 10 of cancer. She was only 49-years old. She was a vibrant, intelligent, kind, compassionate, fun and beautiful woman. She was a great sister and sister-in-law. When I married Tony, she welcomed me into the Heywood family and I immediately felt like I had a new sister and friend. She was a such good sport to wear my red bridesmaid dresses that had darts which made everyone's boobs look like missles (except for Jill and Alicia because they had no missles yet). She was always so much fun to be with and I always looked forward to spending time with her. She was diagnosed with cancer only seven short months ago. We were all praying for a miracle and I felt a confident that God would hear our prayers. The prayer circle was HUGE! And since she was one of the most healthy people I knew, she had that in her favor . . . after all, she was in great shape! She ran in two half marathons and participated in a triatholon this past year. She was amazing! God heard our prayers, but he had a different answer. Jolene was at peace with the answer and she went home.

I love this poem by William Wordsworth:
"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home …

In time, the intensity I have felt these past few days at Jolene's passing may fade. It is natural. The intensity will probably return when I am at Jackson Hole, or a picture jogs my memory or when something out of the blue reminds me of her. I'll probably start crying at those moments. However, what will not fade from my life is my memories of Jolene and the impact she has had on my life.

I love these words by Jeffrey R. Holland: “. . . the tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience. In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and that all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way. If we constantly focus only on the stones in our mortal path, we will almost surely miss the beautiful flower or cool stream provided by the loving Father who outlined our journey. Each day can bring more joy than sorrow when our mortal and spiritual eyes are open to God’s goodness. Joy in the gospel is not something that begins only in the next life. It is our privilege now, this very day. We must never allow our burdens to obscure our blessings. There will always be more blessings than burdens—even if some days it doesn’t seem so. Jesus said, ‘I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.’ Enjoy those blessings right now. They are yours and always will be.”

I love her and am looking forward to seeing her again!